This is NOT in defense of Kylie... but...

Let me preface this by saying I hate, yes HATE, all things Karkrashian. I block, ignore, gouge my eyes out and pour acid directly into my ear holes to avoid seeing or hearing or knowing anything about everything that has anything to do with that money-grubbing, attention-seeking lot of nothings. 

SO imagine my dismay when this whole Kylie Jenner/Pepsi broo-ha-ha happened and I felt compelled to find out what it was about. And as I read more and more of the indictments of her, I feel that I have to ask the questions. NOT to defend her, NOT to minimize her role in the controversy, NOT to do anything in favor of her. But to clarify some things for myself, to try to understand and learn the WHY. Because while I certainly understand the outrage, hurt, anger of those who are again having their feelings and experiences as a whole marginalized, I have questions. 

First and foremost, let's remember who and what Pepsi is. Remember the Madonna ad that Pepsi released in conjunction with her Like a Prayer video? The one that had her dancing in front of burning crosses and kissing a Black Jesus? Or when Pepsi parlayed the video shoot for the Jacksons' Pepsi commercial when Michael's hair caught on fire? Bad press is better than no press, and when they pull certain stunts, Pepsi is on eeeeeeveryone's lips whether they're Pepsi drinkers or not. 

But I digress. Before I ask my questions, I want to reiterate that this is not a defense of Kylie Jenner. I would soon hack my entire left arm off using those worthless plastic knives you get in those knife-fork-spoon-napkin bundles at fast food joints. Taking HER out of the picture, as a caucasian person, the entire concept of the commercial has me... dumbfounded. What the entire FUCK would make ANYONE think... "Hey! I have the best idea on how to sell more soda. We should pretend that drinking Pepsi can solve the problem that has literally plagued this nation since its inception, and moreover, plagued the entire WORLD since the beginning of time! But especially given the temperature of American society over the past 5-7 years (at least), what with the slew of murders of Black and Brown men and women at the hands of law enforcement that have been caught on tape, and with the erosion of said people's rights to peacefully protest the ongoing assault on their lives (because let's just think about how the 'world' reacted to BLM protests vs. the Women's March the day after 45's inauguration), this is going to be the most super-cool Pepsi ad of aaaaaaaaall time!!" 

As I regrettably watched the +2 minutes of that fuckery, in my mind, there was like a split screen happening. On one side was that drivel, and on the other side were pictures and video of the past, with Black Men and Women (as well as their supporters, but let's be honest, it was the VAST majority, Black Men and Women) having hoses turned on them. Of having boiling hot coffee poured on them for having the audacity to sit at a lunch counter. Of being punched and kicked and having dogs set on them for wanting the same right to use a public restroom or sit on a bench or drink from a water fountain or receive medical care in a life-threatening emergency or go to school or to church or vote. I thought about the march over the bridge in Selma. The burning of buses of Freedom Riders. The burning and bombing of churches where Black folks gathered to praise God and build communities. I thought of Philando Castile being told to produce his ID and being shot dead for obeying the officer's command. Of Trayvon Martin and Sean Bell and Mike Brown and Sandra Bland and Eric Garner and Amadou Diallo and Alton Sterling and Ramarley Graham and Tamir Rice and Laquan McDonald and Akai Gurley and Ezell Ford and Walter Scott and Natasha McKenna and Freddie Gray and Oscar Grant and about 100 more whose names may not come to the tip of my tongue at any given moment but whose lives are just as important, and who are just as dead. I see the coverage of the BLM movement and protests, how people demanding the simple right to live is somehow criminalized but the criminals killing them are lauded as heroes. I see pieces of televised speeches of Martin Luther King Jr. and his dream and his journey to get to that mountaintop. I hear the words of Huey P. Newton and Bobby Seale and Fred Hampton.  

It is not lost on me, and it feels just that-much-more dismissive of everything that I saw and heard on that split screen, that the commercial debuted on April 4th, the anniversary of the day that Martin Luther King, Jr. was so senselessly gunned down. Talk about pissing on the man's grave.  

So yes, I understand the outrage. And I understand why the outrage is directed not only at Pepsi, but at Jenner herself and the whole Karkrashian crew. But I have to ask the questions that come to mind. Would the commercial have been less egregious if the role of Kylie Jenner was, for example, played by Taraji P. Henson? The concept is the same. The dismissal of everything "the struggle" has been and still is, is marginalized. I mean, yes I understand having a white person is... worse I guess, for lack of a better word. But I don't know that Jenner, as deserving of the vitriol being thrown at her, is THE villain here.  

Pepsi, of course, immediately stated that they stood by the ad, only today to admit they missed the mark and have pulled the ad. I guess it depends on what their intent was. I don't buy what they're selling... and that's their Pepsi shit as well as their claim that they didn't mean anything by the ad, and that they were trying to support the movement. I call bullshit. 

I mean come on... let's for the sake of argument say that they were trying to bring people together. That's just sad. Coca Cola has been trying to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony for decades! If your best effort, Pepsi, is to take a decades-old idea of unity and spin it with the complete dismissal of the ongoing struggle for equality and civil rights... WOW! Maybe it's time to just throw in the towel. 

I understand the call for boycotting not only Pepsi but all things Pepsi Co as well as all things Karkrashian. But I already don't buy their products and already live in a mostly-Karkrashian-free world. Thank goodness! 

I said I had questions at the outset, and feel like my rambling has been more about why I understand and agree with the backlash. So let me state the questions outright, and hope that if people feel compelled to opine on them, that they do so understanding that I am asking these questions not from a place where I am defending anyone involved in this fiasco, but because I truly want to know where the lines are drawn. 

Question 1: it's a payday for Jenner. Unless she was the creative behind the commercial, it wasn't her "work". She was handed a script and I am sure a shit-ton of money and was playing a part. In a perfect world, she coulda/shoulda/woulda read the scripts, thought about it for a moment and respectfully declined. But I don't think she's that smart to comprehend the Big Picture and I think all she really sees is the money. But even so, it's a job. Why is it not ok for her to take a job, but when we see Black celebrities take a job that is... questionable... (for example) slinging chicken for BK [Mary J. Blige] or singing at 45's inauguration and there's a backlash against THEM, the defense is that it's for the money and people gotta get that money when and where they can. All these horrible "reality" TV shows where mostly Black women are portrayed as negatively as possible, people watch and support them because it's "get that money!" Why can't Kylie get that money too? 

Question 2: Now that Pepsi has agreed to pull the ad and say they're sorry, will people say "bygones" and go on supporting this company's products? Clamoring for all things Karkrashian? 

Question 3: much of the reaction on social media has been about how this situation shows why "white people" can't be allies to the BLM movement and/or movements in general based on equality. And while I am getting better at taking those kinds of comments in general, and not as a personal attack against me, I still wonder why it seems to be ok to lump "all" white people together and paint us with a wide brush, but those caucasians who say "Black people are..." are wrong? Isn't it wrong for everyone to lump ALL people who share a common trait together? Why is this double standard ok on one side but not the other?  

In the end, whether my questions get answered at all is irrelevant. The truth of this whole situation just further spotlights the fact as a whole, here in the US, we still operate under the belief that a Black life is 3/5ths equivalent to a White life.  And that shit is real. Sad, infuriating, incredibly disheartening, but real.

Are YOU an unwilling fat shamer?

I see new stories that go viral on practically a daily basis, regarding body shaming. Specifically fat shaming. Reading the comments on such stories, there are some who claim that the shaming is out of "concern" for the fat person's health. Most of the comments, though, are on their face, supportive. The comments always read about how it's a person's insides that matter, not how they look on the outside. That everyone is beautiful. That the people who fat shame are the ones who need help. 

In 2016, plus-size model Tess Holliday had her Facebook account temporarily suspended for posting a photo of her in a bikini. The photo was reported and Facebook determined that the picture violated their "health standards". They later alleged that the suspension was accidental. 

In 2016, Playboy model Dani Mathers took a photo of a 70-year-old woman changing in the women's locker room at a gym, posting it to her Snapchat page with the cruel caption that, “If I can’t unsee this, then you can’t either.” The backlash was immediate and negative. Mathers, of course, apologized and claimed she meant "no harm". She had her gym membership revoked and was eventually charged with violation of privacy laws. 

Earlier this year, body builder and Instagram celebrity Diana Andrews snapped a pic of a woman on a treadmill, posted it to her IG, Facebook and Snapchat accounts and made comments about how the woman ordered burgers for delivery. Her followers were shocked and angry for this woman body shaming someone at a gym working out. Ms. Andrews, of course, apologized. 

Just a few weeks ago, a woman was sitting outside a Dairy Queen in Illinois, enjoying a cone on Free Cone Day. A car full of men stopped in the middle of the road, rolled down the window to scream "Eat that ice cream you fat bitch!" at her. She posted a video to her Facebook page, calling out bullies. There was an outpouring of kindness and support from most, though there were some mean comments too. 

I could go on and on and on and on with examples of body shaming and fat shaming. But each one is the same as the last and the next. People who advocate for body acceptance and self love, no matter one's size, are attacked for "promoting" an unhealthy lifestyle. People "care". They don't want to see us fatties succumb to diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc. They roll out their statistics about how much our unhealthy choices cost society by way of health care expenses, missed work, etc. 

Don't get me wrong... I have been overweight my entire life. I grew up with the kids at school chanting "Fatty fatty 2 by 4, can't fit through the kitchen door. Fatty fatty 2 by 8, can't fit through the garden gate." Kids pretending that every step I took caused an earthquake. As I approached puberty, my doctor telling me what a pretty face I had but that no boys would like me if I was fat. As a high school freshman, in Home Ec class, everyone had to make a piece of clothing and then put on a "fashion show" to show off our creations. I heard every single laugh as I stepped out on the stage. 

School was where I learned to hide my eating. You see, it didn't matter what I ate or how much or how little I ate or how often, because I was fat I was never supposed to eat. So I learned to eat in the shadows. It's where my binging started. I would eat as little as possible in public. And then when I was alone, I would shovel as much food into my face as I could. And I hated myself more and more with each bite. But I still kept taking bite after bite.  

So as an adult, when I read these stories that go viral, I immediately feel almost as if the bullying was happening to me. Because it has happened. And I feel so protective of the women it's actually happening to. Because I never really had anyone stick up for me. I felt... feel... so alone most of the time. I don't want these women to feel the way I do. And when I read the supportive comments, I am grateful for them. I really am. But I have to wonder if those people are really sincere. 

You see, it's easy to say the right things in those moments, especially when you're saying them from the safety of your keyboard. But how many of those people who profess their support actually walk the walk? When you are hanging out with your friends and a fat person comes by, and someone in your circle cracks a fat joke, do you laugh? If you have a fat friend, do you ever try to set them up for a date with one of your other single friends? Hey fellas, when's the last time you dated a fat girl?  Be honest... are YOU an unwilling fat shamer?

See, the truth of the matter is that fat or thin, short or tall, Black or White or other, blond or brunette.... we are all humans. We all have feelings, the need for people in our lives. We want love and intimacy as much as anyone else. So before you talk the talk, and tell me the words that yes, I desperately want to hear, that my being fat doesn't mean a thing, be prepared to walk the walk. 

Excuse me, but Fuck U skinny bitches

http://www.revelist.com/world/diana-andrews-fat-shaming/7104

I try to be a good person. Compassionate, understanding. Even to those who do not show the same kindness to me. Especially those who don't show the same kindness to me. But then I run across stories like this and I lose my shit. I would apologize, but I figure there are enough phony apologies out there already. I am not sorry and I'm not going to pretend I am.

So here we go again. Someone who isn't a size 0, someone who has fat cells, was at the gym, working out. And of course some gym-rat-she-meat-head-bitch snaps a picture, posts it with a hateful caption, is called on the carpet, and feigns regret. She didn't mean to offend anyone. She's super sorry.

BULL FUCKING SHIT. If you didn't mean to hurt or offend, you wouldn't have done it. So take your apology and shove it unapologetically up your ass.

And here's the thing. I am tired. Not because I'm fat. Because I am tired of this crap. I am tired of skinny bitches pointing and laughing at those of us who, quite honestly, need to be at the gym. People judge us for being overweight, out of shape. People judge us every time we put food in our mouths, even when we're putting carrots or salad into our mouths. The whole world makes life harder for us. Seats (theater seats, airline seats, restaurant booths) are embarrassingly small. Clothes in "plus sizes" are always more expensive. Maybe just a couple of dollars. but more expensive nonetheless. They say it's because of the extra fabric needed. BULL SHIT!! Size 12's are no more expensive than size 2's. But size 20's are more expensive than 12's. So fuck you and your bull shit defense for financially discriminating against us.

And to all those who say you're showing us "tough love"? Fuck you too! You care so much about us that you humiliate us and make us feel like we're less than nothing? Please, I don't need that kind of love. Save it for someone else.

So I am fat. Why do you think that gives you the right to be cruel to me? If you don't like me, that's fine. You can live your life completely separate from me. But for those of you who feel that you are justified in any way whatsoever to shame me, humiliate me, insult me, ridicule me, denigrate me... you are a worthless piece of shit and don't deserve a half a second of my attention. I may be 2 or 3 times your size... but I am 10 times the person you can ever even hope to be.

What's next?

Struggling.

It is not lost on me that the vast majority (but not ALL) of folks calling for the nation to step back and give Trump a chance, to stop protesting and allow the country to come together in unity and "heal" are the ones who have, not for a single day, given the same consideration to the man who's occupied the White House for almost 8 years with dignity.

Let's take a look at what we're looking at, potentially, over the next 4 years:

TRUMP - The man who rode a platform promising:

• mass deportations
• identifying Muslims by forcing them to wear patches
• encouraging citizens to spy on each other even when there's been no indication that anyone has done anything "wrong" except for choosing a specific religion
• overturning the Affordable Care Act, leaving millions of people who finally had access to health insurance (shitty as it may be) with nothing
• to "knock the hell" out of anyone who opposes anything he wants
• to provide tax cuts to the super-wealthy who are already paying little to no taxes as it is
• to overturn Roe v. Wade, putting women back at risk of going into dirty alleys and unsanitary hotel rooms in order to continue to make her own decisions about her own body
• to defund Planned Parenthood, which provides free and low-cost health care services, which have nothing to do with abortions, to men and women regardless of their ability to pay
• unquestioned support of Police who shoot unarmed citizens
• to overturn marriage equality at the federal level, returning the decision to individual states and abolishing the spousal benefits to same-sex couples
• to reinstate Stop-and-Frisk at the national level
• to end the efforts to progress green energy and other geared toward climate change since he believes that climate change isn't real
• heavy reliance on Eminent Domain
• to work with RUSSIA on a whole bunch of issues
• to appoint judges in the vein of Antonin Scalia to the SCOTUS, basically fucking the world for the next 10-15 years at least

Now let's look at the names being bantered about as members of his Cabinet:

• Forrest Lucas, a 74-year old oil magnate
• Goldman Sachs alum Steven Mnuchin
• Newt fucking Gingrich
• Rudi Giulani, the man whose name became a household staple after the 9/11 attacks on NYC and Washington DC, yet stood on a stage screaming about how there were no successful terror attacks on US soil before Obama's presidency
• Chris Christie
• Sarah Palin (I'm sure that Russia's just in her back yard is coincidental)

And I am only scratching the surface. The fact that the KKK endorsed him and he didn't immediately and unequivocally denounce the endorsement says it all. How do we believe that he wants to be a President for all US citizens (especially for the "forgotten men and women") when he embraces white supremacists? And he's basically admitting he's not going to be President for immigrants, and is primarily concerned with the people he thinks feel forgotten: white folks.

So why am I struggling? Because as mentioned, there's a huge part of this country's citizens who never accepted Barack Obama as the President of the United States. A Republican-controlled House and Senate who enthusiastically fucked We The People for the last 8 years as long it meant opposing every single effort the President made. I am not sure how those of us who supported Obama during his Presidency would be any different than those who didn't, if we new refuse to acknowledge the incoming President.

At the same time, I don't know how to support a man who embodies everything that I am against. I am scared to death. This man, with a Republican-controlled House and Senate, with multiple vacancies on the Supreme Court... the amount of damage he can do is enormous.

Every time I think about the forthcoming Trump presidency, I flash back to the scene in STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH when Padme watched as Senator Palpatine established the Empire and lamented.... "So, this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."

The Kaepernick Controversy

Ramarley Graham, 18 years old, killed by police on February 2, 2012

Sgt. Manuel Loggins Jr., 31 years old, off-duty policeman killed by police on February 7, 2012

Raymond Allen, 34 years old, killed by police on February 27, 2012

Shereece Francis, 30 years old, killed by police on March 15, 2012

Kendrec McDade, 19 years old, killed by police on March 24, 2012

Tamon Robinson, 27 years old, killed by police on April 18, 2012

Reynaldo Cuevas, 20 years old, killed by police on September 7, 2012

Kimani Gray, 16 years old, killed by police on March 9, 2013

Jonathan Ferrell, 24 years old, killed by police on September 14, 2013

Jordan Baker, 26 years old, killed by police on January 16, 2014

Yvette Smith, 47 years old, killed by police on February 16, 2014

Dontre Hamilton, 31 years old, killed by police on April 30, 2014

Eric Garner, 43 years old, killed by police on July 17, 2014

John Crawford III, 22 years old, killed by police on August 5, 2014

Mike Brown, 18 years old, killed by police on August 9, 2014

Ezell Ford, 25 years old, killed by police on August 12. 2014

Kajieme Powell, 25 years old, killed by police on August 19, 2014

Akai Gurley, 28 years old, killed by police on November 20, 2014

Tamir Rice, 12 years old, killed by police on November 22, 2014

Tony Robinson, 19 years old, killed by police on March 6, 2015

Naeschylus Vinzant, 37 years old, killed by police on March 6, 2015

Brandon Jones, 18 years old, killed by police on March 19, 2015

Denzel Brown, 21 years old, killed by police on March 22, 2015

Nicholas Thomas, 23 years old, killed by police on March 24, 2015

Eric Harris, 44 years old, killed by police on April 2, 2015

Walter Scott, 50 years old, killed by police on April 4, 2015

Frank Shepherd III, 41 years old, killed by police on April 15, 2015

Freddie Gray, 25 years old, killed by police on April 19, 2015

William Chapman, 18 years old, killed by police on April 22, 2015

David Felix, 24 years old, killed by police on April 25, 2015

Terrance Kellom, 20 years old, killed by police on April 27, 2015

Brandon Glenn, 29 years old, killed by police on May 6, 2015

De'Angelo Stallworth, 28 years old, killed by police on May 12, 2015

Spencer McCain, 41 years old, killed by police on June 25, 2015

Victo Larosa III, 23 years old, killed by police on July 2, 2015

Albert Davis, 23 years old, killed by police on July 17, 2015

Darius Stewart, 19 years old, killed by police on July 17, 2015

Samuel Dubose, 43 years old, killed by police on July 19, 2015

Christian Taylor, 19 years old, killed by police on August 7, 2015

Keith McLeod. 19 years old, killed by police on September 23, 2015

Junior Prosper, 31 years old, killed by police on September 28, 2015

Paterson Brown, 18 years old, killed by police on October 17, 2015

Anthony Ashford, 29 years old, killed by police on October 27, 2015

Jamar Clark, 24 years old, killed by police on November 15, 2015

Cornelius Brown, 25 years old, killed by police on November 18, 2015

Bettie Jones, 55 years old, killed by police on December 25, 2015

Keith Childress, 23 years old, killed by police on December 31, 2015

Antronie Scott, 36 years old, killed by police on February 4, 2016

David Joseph, 17 years old, killed by police on February 8, 2016

Calin Roquemore, 24 years old, killed by police on February 13, 2016

Dyzhawn Perkins, 19 years old, killed by police on February 13, 2016

Christopher Davis, 21 years old, killed by police on February 24, 2016

Kevin Hicks, 44 years old, killed by police on April 5, 2016

Demarcus Semer, 21 years old, killed by police on April 23, 2016

Willie Tillman, 33 years old, killed by police on April 23, 2016

Ashtian Barnes, 25 years old, killed by police on April 28, 2016

Michael Wilson Jr., 27 years old, killed by police on May 22, 2016

Vernell Bing Jr., 22 years old, killed by police on May 22, 2016

Doll Pierre-Louis, 24 years old, killed by police on May 25, 2016

Devonte Gates, 21 years old, killed by police on May 26, 2016

Antwun Shumpert, 37 years old, killed by police on June 18, 2016

Clarence Howard, 25 years old, killed by police on June 19, 2016

Deravis Rogers, 22 years old, killed by police on June 23, 2016

Delrawn Small, 27 years old, killed by police on July 4, 2016

Philandro Castile, 32 years old, killed by police on July 6, 2016

Dalvin Hollis, 19 years old, killed by police on July 27, 2016

Donnell Thompson Jr., 27 years old, killed by police on July 28, 2016

SIXTY-SEVEN dead. And this FAR from an inclusive list. It does not include the death, for example, of Sandra Bland, who died under very questionable circumstances while in police custody. It doesn't include a slew of deaths that occurred after people were tazed, beaten to death, and/or had police dogs sicced on them. It does not include those who died after being hit by a police car or outright run over. I had to pick and choose which people to include, and which not to. So as I quickly skimmed the details of their death, if I thought there was even the slightest hint that the police may have possibly had a sliver of a chance to feel that they were in danger, I didn't include them. So this list is a reflection of my judgment. The vast majority of those who appear on this list were buried with bullet holes. To those who are not included on this list, I do not believe you "deserved" to die. I mourn your loss as much as I mourn those on this list. This is not an inclusive list, but all of the people in this list share a couple of things in common: first, they had no weapons on their person at the time of their deaths; and second, they are all people of color, with the vast majority of them Black, young, and male.

Since WWII, the total number of American casualties in the recognized wars that our country has been involved in is 1,467,260. Whether anyone agrees with, disagrees with, supports or condemns any or all of the wars we've been involved with, these are Our soldiers and their sacrifice cannot be dismissed.

In 2012, Colin Kaepernick became well known in every American football fan's household across the globe. In just his second year in the NFL, playing for the storied San Francisco 49ers, and taking over as the starting QB in week 10, he led his team to the Superbowl. Though the Baltimore Ravens won the chip that year, Kaepernick was anointed the QB of the future. You couldn't turn on the TV or page through a magazine without seeing him. He was everywhere. Endorsement deals at every turn, on the red carpet, he was Sports Royalty.

2013 was another great year for him professionally, as he led his 49ers back to the NFC Championship game against their division rival Seattle Seahawks. He had a sub-par performance, with a couple of turnovers in the 4^th quarter. Seattle went to the Superbowl that year. And it seemed to be the beginning of the end of Kaepernick's reign as royalty. In 2014, he was ordinary. A big part of his decline can be looked at as a direct result of the souring of the relationship between his head coach, Jim Harbaugh and the 49ers organization. But I have always been one to believe that as the QB, when the team is successful, you get all the glory so when they're not, the QB must take his piece of the blame. In addition, much of Kaepernick's success was due to the “wildcat” offense, a trick offense if you will. Ask Robert Griffin III how his career has played out as defenses learn to defend that style of offense. In 2014, Kaepernick and the 49ers had a very unimpressive 8-8 season.

In 2015, under new head coach Mike Tomsula, the 49ers started out at a very disappointing 2-6, at which point Kaepernick was benched. The poor record was not Kaepernick's fault entirely. But as I said, in football, the QB gets all the glory and he also gets all the blame. After losing his starting position, he was benched for the rest of the year with a shoulder injury. Tomsula was fired at the end of the 2015 season, replaced by Chip Kelly. There are those who believed that Kelly was going to save Kaepernick's career, as Kaepernick was the perfect QB for Kelly's offense.

So far in pre-season, though, Kaepernick has been unimpressive in Kelly's offense, and Blaine Gabbert is believed to be their starting QB for the 2016 season. With 3 QBs fighting for 2 remaining roster spots, there are some “experts” who believe that 2 years after signing a contract extension worth up to as much as $126 million, that Colin Kaepernick might not have a team to play for.

So apparently, Kaepernick has chosen not to stand during the playing of the National Anthem for all 3 pre-season games, as of the date that I'm writing this. He wasn't suited up to play in the first 2 games, so his decision went unnoticed. In uniform, though, it was noticed. When asked about his decision not to stand, he explained, "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder."

NOW, being a Packers fan and having had Kaepernick absolutely destroy my defense in 3 consecutive meetings in 2012-2013, I pretty much hate the guy as a football player. And I don't feel one bit of guilt for it. So when this controversy first blew up, I dismissed him and his position... NOT because his words had no validity, because they do. But I relegated it to being a self-serving push for publicity. Perhaps he too realized that there was a good chance of his being cut by the team, so by embroiling himself in a controversy, he might be able to get 1 of 2 results: kept on the roster so that the 49ers could avoid looking like they're racist by cutting the Black QB who's standing up for #BlackLivesMatter; OR the 49ers will try to deal him to a team where he has a shot of starting, thereby avoiding #1 altogether.

But, in an effort to be fair, I went out to Kaepernick's Twitter page to review his account. Maybe he's been vocal about the issue all along, but I didn't know it because I don't follow him and mostly don't listen to anything he says. Going all the way back to 2015, I am not seeing any tweets or retweets related to BLM. The first sign of interest I see on his page is from July 2016. So forgive me, but I have to wonder what happened so recently that made this man stop and say “Hey, this nation isn't treating Black people / people of color right”. I have to be honest and question his sincerity. Where was his outrage when Mike Brown was literally laying in the streets in puddles of his own blood, with bullet holes in his body? Was it easier for him to look past his body because he had all those endorsements, all that money, all that attention and adoration? Is it just now that the spotlight has found alternate areas to focus that he sees what's been happening?

But then again I have to ask myself... even if it's only because the bright lights aren't blinding him that he's able to see, isn't the fact that he's seeing it now what matters? “They” always say “better late than never” so can't we give Colin that same courtesy? Is it my admittedly-ridiculous-on-the-verge-of-crazy loyalty to my Packers that is clouding my own judgment on this very REAL issue? And really, do I even have the “right” to question another person's motives?

Because in the time since the year that Kaepernick became a household name, a very incomplete list of 67 unarmed men and women of color have been murdered by police, with only a handful of indictments and virtually no convictions. In each case, the killer cops are put on a paid administrative leave, and are cleared of any wrongdoing. Unarmed citizens buried with bullet holes, and no justice. And although he's biracial himself and was raised by adoptive white parents, when people look at him, they see a Black man. And when he looks at the faces of these 67, he very likely sees himself. Doesn't he have the right to be angry? Shouldn't we ALL be angry?

And of course, there's the very predictable but still ugly reaction to Kaepernick's statements. A lot of people are coming from a position of “patriotism” and are saying things like “If you don't like it here, then leave”. And I actually have no problem with that. We have millions of people who have either personally served in our Armed Forces, or have friends/family who have fought and died in the name of this country. And people who do and say things that they interpret as disrespecting the American flag, the American people and/or America offend them. They have a right to those feelings, just as much as Kaepernick has the right to feel that this country has not done right by people of color.

With that said, the people who say “Go back to Africa” or attach the N word or any other racial epithet... that's where they step over the line. I mean really... “Go back to Africa” is completely ignorant. Africans who were brought here as SLAVES did not board a cruise ship only to find that they'd been bamboozled. They were kidnapped, chained, bought and sold as property. “Go back to Africa” is about as ignorant as anyone can be. And those who fall back on calling someone the N word or other epithet simply admits that they're too stupid to process the situation and present their opinions in an intelligent manner. I disregard anyone who resorts to these arguments.

I've been personally attacked for my opinion, on social media, by both white folks who consider themselves patriotic as well as by people of color. My patriotic detractors are all-or-nothing on this matter. If I don't condemn someone who doesn't stand for the National Anthem (or put her hand over her heart while it's played, etc.) then I am just as much a scourge to this nation and I can leave too. People of color have attacked, saying that if I accept someone saying “If you don't like it here then leave” then I am saying nothing in this country is wrong and nothing needs to change. Neither of these groups could be more wrong, and in my opinion both of them are a part of the problem.

See, I believe that you can love a person or a place or a city or a country, and still admit and recognize that they're not perfect. There are a LOT of things I feel need to be changed in this country, including but not limited to racial justice and equality. And I love America. I don't thing we need to make America great “again”. I think we're pretty great as we are. That doesn't mean, however, that I don't see all the ways that we can improve and be even greater. At the same time, I understand that those who've lost friends and family who fought in the name of freedom and democracy are going to have a strong reaction to criticisms of our country. Who am I to tell them that their feelings are invalid?

Very rarely, if ever, is an all-or-nothing approach going to lead to anything positive. Ignoring the very real racial and ethnic issues in the US gets us nowhere... at the same time, to ignore the fact that Kaepernick has the right to voice his position as it is, is the direct result of his living in the United States as opposed to places like Russia or China or any number of nations where the people have no freedom of speech... well that's just pure stupid too.

The truth is that although this is a great and powerful nation, we're going backwards. There are very real, very scary and very embarrassing reasons a candidate like Donald Trump, in a campaign based on hate and bigotry and intolerance, has been allowed to succeed. We are at a crossroads: we can swallow our collective pride, finally deal with all of the dirt that we as a nation and that we as individuals have done, and find a way to begin to heal and move forward together, or we are going to continue to fight each other in vain.