I sit here today humbled, thankful, and ashamed. Much of my
20s was spent the same as most other 20-somethings living in Green Bay, WI… out
in the bars with my friends, drinking, laughing, having fun. And no, there’s
really nothing humbling or shameful there. Yeah, I can say that I wish I had
spent more time, energy and effort on my college classes, working, preparing
for my future, etc. But to be completely honest, I have some of the GREATEST
friends in the world and would not change a thing (almost), because that might
mean they would not have the place in my life and in my heart that they do.
Here’s the one thing I would change, if I had the power to…
and what I am so ashamed of: I would not have played Russian roulette with my
life, my friends’ lives and the lives of all the complete strangers who
happened to be on the road at the same times that I was stupidly and selfishly
driving drunk.
I am lucky beyond belief that I didn’t wind up arrested for
drunk driving or with my car wrapped around a tree or telephone pole. But it is
only by the grace of God Himself that I didn’t kill myself or another innocent
person because of my incredibly stupid behavior.
I can remember driving home, with one hand covering one eye
so that I didn’t see “so many” lines separating the lanes of traffic. I
remember wondering how I got on an 8-lane highway because of all the oncoming
headlights I could count. (In reality, I was on a 4-lane road… 2 lanes in each
direction). I knew every night that I should not be driving, but I was stupid
and I did it anyway.
Today, I hardly ever drive. Please… this is NYC. There’s really
no reason for me to drive. But when I go home to visit, or go on vacation, I
drive. And I still indulge in a delicious adult beverage on occasion, both here
at home in NYC or abroad. And yeah… sometimes I overindulge but those occasions
are few and far between. But when I am home and meeting up with friends and
family… if I’m driving, I’m not drinking. And if I’m drinking, I have a
designated driver. I fully recognize that by all rights, I could have easily
been killed in a drunk driving accident literally thousands of times. Do the
math… out 5-7 nights a week for the better part of a decade. Like I said
earlier... only by the grace of God.
What started me down this path today was
finding out that my 22-year old nephew lost a good friend last night to a drunk
driver. A drunk man driving south in a northbound lane struck the car my nephew’s
friend (Kristian Reed, 21 years old) was driving. Kristian died at the scene. In total, 4 cars
were involved in the accident. Just the one fatality. But one is too many.
How
easily that could have been me… causing someone else’s death way too soon. Causing
injury to other people who had the bad luck to be on the road the same as me;
taking a loved one away from his or her family and friends. Ending all the
dreams he or she had… and the ones his or her parents had for them.
I
think about how lucky I was/am every time I hear about a drunk driving
incident. Today’s report just hit home because it affected someone I love.
I do
not… cannot… sit in judgment of the man who was driving south in that
northbound lane. He will have to live with the knowledge that his actions
resulted in one death, multiple injuries and the destruction of countless
lives. Instead, my prayers are out for everyone mourning the loss of young
Kristian, for the recovery of all injured in the accident, and for strength and
courage to the driver.
