I love NYC. I really
love NYC. Even on the days when I hate it, I love it. I love it so much that after
spending all of 5 days here in 2007, I immediately went home to Green Bay, pounded the
virtual pavement until I found a job, put in my notice at work and to my
landlord, packed 2 suitcases, bought a laptop and moved here. I didn’t know a
soul. I relied on craigslist to find housing. It was sink or swim, and I was bound and determined to swim. And 8 years later, I’m still
here.
But I gotta be real…
there are days when I think I’ve had enough, and give serious consideration to
leaving this bedlam that people think is actually "reality". Especially when I read these ridiculous lists of why no one
in NYC ever needs to go anywhere, ever (http://www.timeout.com/newyork/blog/ten-reasons-not-to-leave-new-york-ever).
For every BS reason you have to stay, I can give you reasons to go.
1. You’ll need a car
Not necessarily. NYC is not the ONLY city in the US, let alone the world, with functional public transportation. And speaking of functional, when is the last time anyone had a full day of commuting and running errands where there weren’t service disruptions, delays and outright fuckery, courtesy of the MTA?
Not necessarily. NYC is not the ONLY city in the US, let alone the world, with functional public transportation. And speaking of functional, when is the last time anyone had a full day of commuting and running errands where there weren’t service disruptions, delays and outright fuckery, courtesy of the MTA?
2. Bagels will be severely disappointing
As with pizza, REAL bagels are getting harder and harder to find, depending where you live and/or work. People say they’ll pay more for a good slice or a great bagel, but if it’s more than $1 or 2 (for just the bagel), they are griping about it. As a result, most of the bodegas have resorted to a smaller, crappier, cardboard-tasting bagel wanna-be, that is equivalent to the Lender's bagel you can get in the freezer aisle at most supermarkets... anywhere.
As with pizza, REAL bagels are getting harder and harder to find, depending where you live and/or work. People say they’ll pay more for a good slice or a great bagel, but if it’s more than $1 or 2 (for just the bagel), they are griping about it. As a result, most of the bodegas have resorted to a smaller, crappier, cardboard-tasting bagel wanna-be, that is equivalent to the Lender's bagel you can get in the freezer aisle at most supermarkets... anywhere.
3. 24-hour food to your doorstep
Again, you’re talking about a very limited piece of geography within Manhattan. If you’re living in the Bronx or further out in Brooklyn (which you might be if you want to be able to actually afford rent), you’ll be lucky to have a handful of options on Seamless, and even those options are typically crappy Chinese food or crappy pizza places. One might think that a more lean offering for food delivery would prompt you to stay home and cook. The only thing is, is that Peapod grocery delivery service, nor Fresh Direct, will deliver to you. The selection for supermarkets in these areas is awful at best. Good luck finding decent fresh meat and produce. In MOST areas, if you want good food, you’re gonna need to get dressed and go get it and if you want decent groceries, you're going to need to travel to get that as well.
Again, you’re talking about a very limited piece of geography within Manhattan. If you’re living in the Bronx or further out in Brooklyn (which you might be if you want to be able to actually afford rent), you’ll be lucky to have a handful of options on Seamless, and even those options are typically crappy Chinese food or crappy pizza places. One might think that a more lean offering for food delivery would prompt you to stay home and cook. The only thing is, is that Peapod grocery delivery service, nor Fresh Direct, will deliver to you. The selection for supermarkets in these areas is awful at best. Good luck finding decent fresh meat and produce. In MOST areas, if you want good food, you’re gonna need to get dressed and go get it and if you want decent groceries, you're going to need to travel to get that as well.
4. The summer
If you like stifling hot and disgustingly humid, yeah, you will love summer. But there’s even more people jammed into the City with tourists, huge concert events/festivals, etc. All the cars and traffic (because despite “not needing a car” according to #1, there’s millions of cars and trucks and buses everywhere all the time). Motorcycle clubs galore go revving up and down streets at all hours of the day and night. And who can forget the stench of rotting garbage every single day, no matter where you go.
If you like stifling hot and disgustingly humid, yeah, you will love summer. But there’s even more people jammed into the City with tourists, huge concert events/festivals, etc. All the cars and traffic (because despite “not needing a car” according to #1, there’s millions of cars and trucks and buses everywhere all the time). Motorcycle clubs galore go revving up and down streets at all hours of the day and night. And who can forget the stench of rotting garbage every single day, no matter where you go.
5. Your dating pool will shrink dramatically
Here’s a newsflash: yes there’s millions of people in NYC but they are the same kind of people you find anywhere, only worse. If you’re someone who’s of the belief that the Man should “take care of things” (i.e., pay for everything on dates plus help the woman with her rent or utilities or groceries or whatever), good luck. The number of men who can actually afford that shit is very small and really picky about who they’ll date (you better be, or look like you could be, a model). If you’re more independent and don’t have a problem picking up the tab (from time to time), get ready to be a Sugar Mama because dudes get used to that mad quick. Dating will turn into either chilling at your place or you footing the bill if you want to go out. That’s not to say there aren’t successful dating experiences. But with the bigger pool of possibilities comes the reality of having to wade through more shit to find what you’re looking for. And still having a very real possibility of “settling” because the search has exhausted you.
Here’s a newsflash: yes there’s millions of people in NYC but they are the same kind of people you find anywhere, only worse. If you’re someone who’s of the belief that the Man should “take care of things” (i.e., pay for everything on dates plus help the woman with her rent or utilities or groceries or whatever), good luck. The number of men who can actually afford that shit is very small and really picky about who they’ll date (you better be, or look like you could be, a model). If you’re more independent and don’t have a problem picking up the tab (from time to time), get ready to be a Sugar Mama because dudes get used to that mad quick. Dating will turn into either chilling at your place or you footing the bill if you want to go out. That’s not to say there aren’t successful dating experiences. But with the bigger pool of possibilities comes the reality of having to wade through more shit to find what you’re looking for. And still having a very real possibility of “settling” because the search has exhausted you.
6. All the entertainment you could ever want
Ok, so this one is really on point. I can’t lie, and don’t even what to. THIS is, in all honesty, what probably still keeps me from washing my hands of NYC and moving on. It doesn’t matter what you find entertaining, NYC has it. Every day. Without fail. All you have to do is go. The problem? Of course, it’s the price tag. After paying rent and bills and making sure you have food and toilet paper, there’s usually not a lot left to relegate to your entertainment fund. So even though there’s a zillion (literally) things you’ll want to do, you very likely won’t be able to afford to do them. So although this is totally true…. in the end, it’s more of a tease since the entertainment options are there and you can’t take advantage.
Ok, so this one is really on point. I can’t lie, and don’t even what to. THIS is, in all honesty, what probably still keeps me from washing my hands of NYC and moving on. It doesn’t matter what you find entertaining, NYC has it. Every day. Without fail. All you have to do is go. The problem? Of course, it’s the price tag. After paying rent and bills and making sure you have food and toilet paper, there’s usually not a lot left to relegate to your entertainment fund. So even though there’s a zillion (literally) things you’ll want to do, you very likely won’t be able to afford to do them. So although this is totally true…. in the end, it’s more of a tease since the entertainment options are there and you can’t take advantage.
7. You’ll actually have to plan how you’ll get home from a night
out
Please. Uber and Lyft has made transportation extremely accessible. And unless you’re in Mayberry, you can always call a cab. You will have to call, though, because most cities do not pick of fares off the street. PLUS, let’s go back to #1. Everyone has a car. And as I am aging, going out and getting hammered isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. A lot of bars will let a Designated Driver drink non-alcoholic beverages at no cost, which in my circles, means there’s a fight to be the DD. Getting home? No problem.
Please. Uber and Lyft has made transportation extremely accessible. And unless you’re in Mayberry, you can always call a cab. You will have to call, though, because most cities do not pick of fares off the street. PLUS, let’s go back to #1. Everyone has a car. And as I am aging, going out and getting hammered isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. A lot of bars will let a Designated Driver drink non-alcoholic beverages at no cost, which in my circles, means there’s a fight to be the DD. Getting home? No problem.
8. The job market might be cutthroat here, but at least there are
options
Where? You are mostly as trapped here as you are anywhere. Why? Because no one is looking to take a pay cut… ever. Hate your industry and want to reinvent yourself? You can ABSOLUTELY do that here. But, at least in the short term, that’s going to mean taking a pay cut from whatever you’re doing now. If you have rent, or kids, or both, that’s not always possible.
Where? You are mostly as trapped here as you are anywhere. Why? Because no one is looking to take a pay cut… ever. Hate your industry and want to reinvent yourself? You can ABSOLUTELY do that here. But, at least in the short term, that’s going to mean taking a pay cut from whatever you’re doing now. If you have rent, or kids, or both, that’s not always possible.
9. The food just won’t taste as good
Such bullshit. Yes, there are a lot of great dining options here. All the famous chefs want to add NYC as a notch on their belts. But let’s again be honest. The average Joe (or Jane) can’t afford $500 on a dinner, on a regular basis. And even if we could, to think that there are not some really fantastic, exciting and delicious culinary offerings all over the country, all over the world is just closed-minded idiocy.
Such bullshit. Yes, there are a lot of great dining options here. All the famous chefs want to add NYC as a notch on their belts. But let’s again be honest. The average Joe (or Jane) can’t afford $500 on a dinner, on a regular basis. And even if we could, to think that there are not some really fantastic, exciting and delicious culinary offerings all over the country, all over the world is just closed-minded idiocy.
10. Zombies!
Um… yeah. Try walking through Times Square or Grand Central or Central Park or 5th Ave or any host of areas and you will find that you have to weave your way through an obstacle course of zombies who are completely oblivious to anything other than their phone/tablet/gaming device.
Um… yeah. Try walking through Times Square or Grand Central or Central Park or 5th Ave or any host of areas and you will find that you have to weave your way through an obstacle course of zombies who are completely oblivious to anything other than their phone/tablet/gaming device.
With all that said, let someone
come up with a list of 10 reasons to leave NYC and never return, and I will
shred that list too. At the end of the day, NYC is like that boyfriend (or
girlfriend) that you love and hate all at the same time. GOD, you want to break
up, once and for all, and kick that bum to the curb. And just when you have
your boots on and you’re ready to do it, something happens and you fall in love
all over again. Ahhhh, New York City... where love and hate collide.
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