Spitting on Black History

I don't know if I'm necessarily "allowed" to have ask the (forthcoming) question or not. After all, this is a "black" issue and I'm a white girl. And when white folks are brought into the discussion... well, it's usually not a good thing. What's the issue? The N word.

Me, myself? I hate the word and everything it means. I don't care if it's pronounced with an "er" at the end of it, or an "a". I don't care what color the person is who says it... although to be fair, I won't admonish a black person for saying it because, quite honestly, I don't believe a white person can tell a black person not to say it. Let's be real about that. I wish I had a superpower that would allow me to eradicate it from everyone's vocabulary. Whatever context it's ever used in, there are better alternatives available.

The word is always at or near the forefront of conversation. But it seems to me, over the last several months, it's simply everywhere. It's a part of the conversation in entertainment, thanks to movies like The Butler, Fruitvale Station, and 12 Years a Slave. It's a part of the conversation in sports, thanks to Matt Barnes' recent tweet using the "a" version of the word, the Richie Incognito/Jonathan Martin fiasco in Miami, Riley Cooper's rant caught on videotape before the 2013-14 season started and the Trent Williams/Roy Ellison incident. And it's always a part of the conversation in police/community relations.

When the use of the N word comes up in conversations, many will say something to the effect that black people use the word all the time, so what's the big deal? And I have already confessed that if a black person uses the word in my presence, I won't say anything. And maybe I really don't have the right to ask this question. But I am going to ask any way... Why do black people use this word?

The word is ugly. It was meant to make slaves feel less than... meant to belittle, marginalize, shame. It was used in hatred. And I understand that when it is spoken by a white person, at a black person, it conjures up a different feeling than when used between black people with each other. I have black friends who use the word... frequently... as a term of endearment. But are you really, really telling me that people cannot think of other endearing words that could be used among friends, family and loved ones?

When you think about what slaves had to endure... the struggle for freedom... the continued struggle for rights and protections that still continue today... when you really think about the ugly, cruel, hateful meaning that word has in this nation... I can't help but think that every time that word is uttered among black folks to and at each other, that is spitting on the legacy and struggles of the ones who had to fight and bleed and die.