My blog is just a little blog, and it's
really just for me. This post is too... but they all serve a purpose.
It allows me to get my feelings out about things, big and small,
important and mundane. Whatever happens to be on my mind at the time.
THIS blog though is kind of cutting edge for me. See, I am a private
person. Whereas I am more than happy to share my opinions, I rarely
give a glimpse into my personal life.
This blog, or at least the intention to
write it, was born when I saw a story reported by TMZ
(http://www.tmz.com/2016/07/14/dani-mathers-gym-pic-photo-police-report/)
about a Playboy playmate Dani Mathers who was at her gym and sneakily
took a photo of a “fat” woman naked, posted it on her Snapchat
account with the caption “If I can't unsee this, neither can you”.
Of course, this went viral and people said all the right things, felt
all of the politically correct outrage and called Ms. Mathers on the
carpet. She, naturally, apologized, stated she never intended to post
the pic publicly and that it was all a mistake. She became a playmate
because she loves the female body and she regrets shaming this
unnamed woman.
As a fellow-fatty, I am, of course,
appalled and I hurt for this woman. But I have to be honest. I have
been out and about... IN PUBLIC... and have witnessed people wearing
things that I thought were inappropriate. I have covered my eyes in
horror at some of what I've seen. I have judged and said cruel things
about people who I don't know and their appearance. And I am ashamed
of that. And while I continue to work on myself and strive to reserve
judgment (more to come on that subject), I can at least say that when
I did what I did, I was in public. I didn't sneak into a place where
a person has the right to assume a certain level of privacy and
invade it. Ms. Mathers overstepped every line imaginable.
I mentioned that I continue to work on
myself and am striving to reserve judgment on other people.
Especially people who are “big”, and super-especially when they
are trying to improve themselves. You see, they don't need ME judging
them. Trust me when I say that they judge themselves more harshly
than anyone else can even imagine. We are harder on ourselves than
you can ever know. I remember once I was out shopping with my sister,
looking at clothes, and actually saying out loud that I don't deserve
new clothes because I am too fat. Every time, and I mean every time,
anyone's ever given me a compliment of any kind, I say thank you but
tell myself that it's not true... they're just being nice. Or even
worse, if someone says I look nice, in my head, I tell myself that
they're being sarcastic and that I actually look awful. No matter
what I wear, I look in the mirror and I see a fat woman and the voice
in my head tells me that I look, and am, fat and ugly. It's always
fat AND ugly.
I've been to the gym and seen and heard
people point and talk about me and/or some other overweight person
working out. Whether it's a fancy expensive gym or Planet Fitness, if
you had any idea the effort it takes just to walk in, knowing what
people will think and say.
Thankfully, I know I don't speak for
every overweight person out there. There are more and more plus size
ladies (and I am sure there's some gentlemen out there too!) that
love themselves as is. They are the body-positive folks who are
trying to help all of us by showing us that beauty is not defined by
size. And God bless them for it. Some of us are still catching up,
but Lord knows that these folks are beyond appreciated!
But back to Ms. Mathers. The thing is,
the woman that she so cruelly photographed and exposed isn't even
“that” big! Ms. Mathers is the reason why we have so many body
image issues. She says it was a mistake. How do you accidentally
SNEAK taking a picture, accidentally caption it, and post it for the
world to see? Even if I give her the benefit of the doubt, which she
has not earned, and say that I believe she didn't intend to post the
picture to her Snapchat account, she certainly intended to share it
with a friend or friends, who are equally as shallow and heartless.
No, this is no accident and if she regrets anything, it's being
exposed as a cunty bitch.
Her intention was to secretly shame
this woman for what... being bigger than Ms. Mathers is? Being bigger
than Ms. Mathers thinks she should be? For being naked in the locker
room of the gym and not cowering in a dressing room somewhere hiding
her body? Certainly she shouldn't be ashamed for working out and
trying to be the best version of herself that she can be! No, if you
ask me, Dani Mathers should be ashamed of herself. She's the one that
is sickening. She's the one who's hateful behavior can't be unseen.
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